Disclaimers:
This is from the Psi and magical perspective, but maybe it touches on a deeper truth that other Vampyres may identify with.
“Metaphysical” and “Esoteric” are loaded words and range from intuition to acts of advanced sorcery such as evocation of a Spirit. For the purposes of our discussion, they are interchangeable and will be defined as “acts of the unseen.”
The Need
The Need. “Sacred Hunger.” Cravings. Whatever you call it, has been the bedrock of our community since we rose from the proverbial graves of kind society. Every human needs touch, affection, and validation. This Craving extends beyond a medical condition, a psychological issue, and touches on the eternal moment of spirit and mystery but has never the less been debated as long as the community has been around. Some believe it is a mix of two or all three while others are inclined to believe one explanation over the others. No matter what someone believes the cause it comes down to subjective belief over any verifiable fact. Even our symptoms vary from Vampyre to Vampyre and may even change over time. To say Vampyric Craving stems from any, or all, conditions over the others is to turn a blind eye to the nuances of belief, experience, and experimentation.
When we look past the popular books and media and peer beyond shallow waters in the inner circles of the community and have open and honest discussions on what this Craving is we learn the Vampyre needs a bit more, something deeper. Sometimes it’s something the mind can’t comprehend but the body feels. A feeling of void and a sense of emptiness drive many of us to alternative lifestyles and taboo magical exploration. From blood magic to sexual gnosis, the fledgling Vampyre seeks what friends and family simply cannot provide. Like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill only to begin again at ground level once he reaches the top, the Vampyre is on a never ending journey to reach the Pinnacle of Self. Seeking this Pinnacle of Self is beyond just feeding on human lifeforce and touches the heart of the Vampyre and our hidden emotional and spiritual Needs. This Hunger extends beyond the momentary relief of fatigue and ache but seeks the relief of the boundless ache of Self Actualization.
Esoteric Limitations
I’ve discussed this elsewhere, but no matter what causes these Cravings the act of Psi Vampyrism is esoteric in nature. These esoteric concepts may have psychological similarities but the act of siphoning energy is by all intents and purposes metaphysical. Although we may feel drained and can point to burnout, masking, lack of nutrients, etc, if we consume the energy of a person we are performing a psychic or magical action. This is why many Psi Vampyres are also energy workers, witches, or otherwise spiritual people. The nuance lies in if Psi Vampyrism is a metaphysical action is it still a spiritual condition by nature or can it still be just an undiagnosed and invisible illness that, for whatever reason, a spiritual method helps more than anything else? This is more of a rhetorical question because there is no definitive answer. I argue that Psi Vampyrism is a balance of psychological need and spiritual evolution. If our feeding method is esoteric in nature than it benefits us to study and experiment with the magical and spiritual paradigms as they relate to Longing, Cravings, and Death in ways that best understand and help us express our experience.
In my experience I have found limitations to Psi Feeding. From about 9 feet on I am at a lack of ability, but 9 feet and closer I feel more in touch with the person or group. That limits my personal ability of distance feeding to fantastical thinking over a proven source of sustenance. My distance is compartmentalized into categories:
I can get a good Feed if I can:
- Touch
- Taste
- Get a scent
Merely seeing isn’t as effective. I am rather a dense person so erotic play, mosh pits, and group ritual are the best ways I have found to Feed because the energy is easier to access than distance or dream Feeding. I used to think this limit was invalidating and that I needed to master dream walking and astral projection to be “A Real Vampyre” but as I learned to trust my experience and validate my methods through journaling and peer review I stopped caring as much about proving myself. It also led me to seek alternative concepts surrounding Cravings, energy exchange, and the strange and eerie feelings of being haunted and seduced by darker inclinations.
Erotes, Emptiness, and Longing
One of my recent explorations has been the concept of Longing inspired by a handful of rituals to the Erotes, the attendants of Aphrodite. In particular with Pothos whose name translates as “Desire, Longing, Yearning.” I put emphasis on him in particular because the Hunger, for me, is not merely about physical cravings or feelings of energetic hunger. The Need has a depth of despair, of something I cannot touch or know in human language, like how Pothos longs for Aphrodite but is bound to never be able to touch or experience her beyond just being in her presence.
Longing is the magician’s Will towards the Great Work, the Vampyres journey towards Becoming. First we Crave, then we Awaken, then we have Longing, each step a new process toward our Becoming. It is not simply Longing for affection and human touch, it is a desire to feel the soul of a person, to perceive the divine in a moment of love or desperation. Our Longing isn’t kept to story book romance rather it is balanced with the horrors of reaching but never touching. If we fully grasped all of our desires and were satiated by the simplest touch of affection we would hardly have an unending Craving that we associate with Vampyrism.
